I emigrated twice. Married someone from another country. I speak three languages daily. My sons are bilingual but they don’t speak their mother’s tongue. I feel at home but this is not my home. I go home but it is no longer my home. Belonging somewhere becomes an impossible quest. Roots were pulled, stretching across different soils, trying to find fertile ground to sprout. Where do you belong when you move around?
Hometown, and what this means
The big city never called me. It was solitude that tempted me to new horizons, where no one knew my name and I could start all over. The rustling grasses of the wavy meadows, foggy fields and little droplets of dew when the sun raised her head over the hill.
I like to hide away in my cave with only my pencils and my notebook. The crackling fire keeping me company, and no one to mind but me. Some believe I am extroverted, loud, attention seeking wild, but no. I only ever wanted to share my deepest feelings on the paper that I touch, and maybe touch another soul to cry, or see the truth within.
The big city never called me
Although I wander there sometimes
just to get lost, meander
and take a story home
Emigration and its effects on feeling unrooted
Emigrating to Spain has been amazing. I love the lifestyle here. But it is not my home. I feel very foreign. I don’t know where my home is, I am a nomad. I left the family home at 18, then left my country at 26. My parents sold the family home and later divorced. So my family home no longer exists either. No ‘my old bedroom’ to sit in. My home only exists in memories.
The town where I grew up in feels so familiar, but so uncomfortable, like a garment from my youth. I have changed. Everything changes. I feel like a tourist in my own country. 2025 marks twenty years of being abroad. Where is home? Does it matter? What does it all mean?
Hometown
‘Hometown’ is the first track of my forthcoming album, my first solo project ever.
Lyrics to ‘Hometown’
Hello my old friend – It’s been a while
I know, I’ve changed – You look the same
I don’t show up a lot these days – But I do care
But when we meet again – Don’t wanna be there
Touch down, familiar ground
You’re like an old worn coat
So long, home town
Gotta hit the road
The oak tree, the bus stop – I know you so well
Someone please listen – I’ve got stories to tell
Coming home, but do I belong
Good old times – Tomorrow I’m gone
Touch down, familiar ground
You’re like an old worn coat
So long, home town
Gotta hit the road
I spread my wings
The world stood still
But the walls are closing in on me
Gotta leave it all behind
Nina Mae Harper 
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